I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have grass duct taped all over my body
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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