Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
