Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize