Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
