He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
