I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
