I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
