I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
