I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
