Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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