the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
