hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
