What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
