is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
