I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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