Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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