weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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