my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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