This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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