i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
