I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
