end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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