Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
