i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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