i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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