Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize