shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
