I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
