I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
