She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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