He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize