Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
