So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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