I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
this boner is exhausting
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
