just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
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I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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