You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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