WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
