Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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