Define "chronic" masturbator.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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