I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
