he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
