did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
