That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
