she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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