sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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