He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Randomize
