North Korea, Best Korea!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I'm always down for nudity.
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