dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
