Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
