she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
