Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
