you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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