Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
