she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
