We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
