i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
