I wanna bring you to show and tell
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
last night I used snow as a chaser
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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