dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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