So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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