Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
